I'm now living in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex and the adjustment has been slow.
Things I've noticed.
Never try to compare any brand of ice cream to Blue Bell. You'll lose.
Owning a convertible in Dallas is much more fun than it is in New York.
When your car battery dies in Dallas, it's dead. It doesn't simply need a boost. It's dead and you need a new battery.
For a state where every thing is supposed to be large, there are an awful lot of VW Beatles and Mazda Miatas on the road.
If good fences make for good neighbors, the Dallas subdivisions have some outstanding neighbors. (There are fences, and then there are bulworks)
If your grass needs to be cut, or your house cleaned, or fence stained and you don't know who to call, just check out the pile of business cards that have been left on your doorstep. There are a lot of nice people willing to come to your house to help you.
"Bless your heart" isn't really a sincere wish for the Lord to bless you.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Sunday, May 23, 2010
An Ode to a Lawn Mower
When I would visit my father in the spring each year we would have the same conversation. "Dad, I think you need to get a new lawn mower." When I would look at the machine it was clear to me that the walk behind power mower, which he purchased from K-Mart, had seen much better days. The paint was coming off. The wheels wobbled. The bar that you hold, or else the mower shuts off, was stuck in the on position. Yet, every year, when I would attempt to start the mower, it would start on the first pull.
My father died in November of 2004. In the summer of 2006 I sold his house. Most of the contents of the house were either given away, or placed in a dumpster. It took a lot of dumpsters. He liked to keep stuff. Some of the stuff in the house I brought with me to my new house in North Chili. I was determined not to let the new house become as cluttered as dad's house had become, but I needed to keep some of his stuff. For example, at that point I didn't have any lawn and garden tools. After all, I was living in an apartment in Manhattan. I kept all of the tools, and then I hired a guy to cut the grass.
This worked great until the middle of the summer. The guy cutting my grass left me a note. He had found a full-time job, so he didn't need to cut my grass anymore. Because I was in a bind I tried something radical. I decided to cut my own lawn. I pulled out dad's lawnmower fully expecting that I would need to go to Home Depot to buy a new machine. The stupid machine started.
Well, it finally happened. The machine has failed. I tried to fix it, but it appears that my father had "modified" the poor thing so that the replacement part I bought wouldn't work. What had he done? He had fixed a wheel by adding a bolt. The bolt was too long, so he shorted the cutting blade using a grinder. When I installed the new blade it made a lot of very loud, angry noises.
I put the mower at the end of the driveway to be picked up by the trash collection company. As you can expect, someone took it within hours. I have no doubt they are now grinding a blade to fit.
My father died in November of 2004. In the summer of 2006 I sold his house. Most of the contents of the house were either given away, or placed in a dumpster. It took a lot of dumpsters. He liked to keep stuff. Some of the stuff in the house I brought with me to my new house in North Chili. I was determined not to let the new house become as cluttered as dad's house had become, but I needed to keep some of his stuff. For example, at that point I didn't have any lawn and garden tools. After all, I was living in an apartment in Manhattan. I kept all of the tools, and then I hired a guy to cut the grass.
This worked great until the middle of the summer. The guy cutting my grass left me a note. He had found a full-time job, so he didn't need to cut my grass anymore. Because I was in a bind I tried something radical. I decided to cut my own lawn. I pulled out dad's lawnmower fully expecting that I would need to go to Home Depot to buy a new machine. The stupid machine started.
Well, it finally happened. The machine has failed. I tried to fix it, but it appears that my father had "modified" the poor thing so that the replacement part I bought wouldn't work. What had he done? He had fixed a wheel by adding a bolt. The bolt was too long, so he shorted the cutting blade using a grinder. When I installed the new blade it made a lot of very loud, angry noises.
I put the mower at the end of the driveway to be picked up by the trash collection company. As you can expect, someone took it within hours. I have no doubt they are now grinding a blade to fit.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Central Park Medical Unit
Today the New York Post had a story about the ambulance corps with which I volunteer in NYC. Here is the video of the story.
Monday, January 11, 2010
New Jersey Diner
This past weekend I took my mother and father in-law back to their home in New Jersey. This involved a drive of six and half hours in a Chevy Trailblazer. The good news was that the weather was great. The bad news was that our bladders were all on different schedules. This means we needed to stop at every McDonald's on the route. The good news is that I know where every McDonald's on the route is located. Most are programed into my GPS.
Right now McDonald's is having a movie tie in promotion. They are giving away a miniature talking Chipmunks. They have six different characters. We have now collected all six. In our case we had to pay for them because we didn't buy the Happy Meal. We also made McDonald's crew members search for the characters we hadn't yet collected. It is a little disturbing, I suppose, for a middle aged, fat, bald, white guy to be asking for the "Britney chipmunk", but it was a long trip and I had set some specific goals.
In North Bergen, New Jersey, that evening, I was invited out to dinner with my wife's family. We went to the "Coach House Diner". Frankly, it was a slightly disturbing experience. First, upon arrival, we were greeted at the door by the staff. This was no ordinary greeting. This was a very personal greeting. It appears the in-laws are frequent guests. The servers each stopped by the table to say hello. I didn't know my in-laws were such good tippers.
Pumpkin and I have a couple of diners we frequent upstate, but as of yet we are not that famous with the staff. We tried to go to one of the diners for dinner last night but were disappointed to discover that it closed at 9:00 pm. Are you kidding me? Last week I tried ordering a pizza at 10:30 pm. Again, no luck. I called five pizza shops and none were open. How can this be? It is at times like this I miss living full-time in Manhattan.
In the future however I have discovered a safety fall back. The clerk at the local Byrne Dairy store (convenience store) tells me they will make me a pizza up until 11:30 pm. It is always good to have a fall back plan.
Right now McDonald's is having a movie tie in promotion. They are giving away a miniature talking Chipmunks. They have six different characters. We have now collected all six. In our case we had to pay for them because we didn't buy the Happy Meal. We also made McDonald's crew members search for the characters we hadn't yet collected. It is a little disturbing, I suppose, for a middle aged, fat, bald, white guy to be asking for the "Britney chipmunk", but it was a long trip and I had set some specific goals.
In North Bergen, New Jersey, that evening, I was invited out to dinner with my wife's family. We went to the "Coach House Diner". Frankly, it was a slightly disturbing experience. First, upon arrival, we were greeted at the door by the staff. This was no ordinary greeting. This was a very personal greeting. It appears the in-laws are frequent guests. The servers each stopped by the table to say hello. I didn't know my in-laws were such good tippers.
Pumpkin and I have a couple of diners we frequent upstate, but as of yet we are not that famous with the staff. We tried to go to one of the diners for dinner last night but were disappointed to discover that it closed at 9:00 pm. Are you kidding me? Last week I tried ordering a pizza at 10:30 pm. Again, no luck. I called five pizza shops and none were open. How can this be? It is at times like this I miss living full-time in Manhattan.
In the future however I have discovered a safety fall back. The clerk at the local Byrne Dairy store (convenience store) tells me they will make me a pizza up until 11:30 pm. It is always good to have a fall back plan.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Snow
I get grief because I spend more time in Rochester than in the Big City. "What about the cold?", "What about the snow?"
Yesterday I cleared a foot of snow off of my car, and it was parked on West 54th Street. At least in Rochester I have a garage. By the time I got most of the snow off the car my hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers. I discovered several hours later I had a pair of gloves in the car. I just couldn't find them under all of the other stuff.
People don't really understand that, as a matter of practical reality, the cold and wet weather of Rochester really doesn't bother the residents much. They go from their house to their car and from their car to their job. They aren't in the weather much. On the other hand, those living in the Big City stand in the weather waiting for a bus.
When it snows like it did on Saturday, I ENJOY riding the subway.
One aspect of dealing with snow in the Big City that I find frustrating is the fact that I can't reach highway speed when I'm there. In Rochester I can clear most of the snow off of the car by driving 70 miles an hour on the thruway.
So, for those of you who think upstate New York is a winter wasteland, remember that, while there is very little mass transit, and we are warming the earth at a feverish rate with our SUVs, we are not standing in front of the Oyster Bar waiting for the M10 bus.
Yesterday I cleared a foot of snow off of my car, and it was parked on West 54th Street. At least in Rochester I have a garage. By the time I got most of the snow off the car my hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers. I discovered several hours later I had a pair of gloves in the car. I just couldn't find them under all of the other stuff.
People don't really understand that, as a matter of practical reality, the cold and wet weather of Rochester really doesn't bother the residents much. They go from their house to their car and from their car to their job. They aren't in the weather much. On the other hand, those living in the Big City stand in the weather waiting for a bus.
When it snows like it did on Saturday, I ENJOY riding the subway.
One aspect of dealing with snow in the Big City that I find frustrating is the fact that I can't reach highway speed when I'm there. In Rochester I can clear most of the snow off of the car by driving 70 miles an hour on the thruway.
So, for those of you who think upstate New York is a winter wasteland, remember that, while there is very little mass transit, and we are warming the earth at a feverish rate with our SUVs, we are not standing in front of the Oyster Bar waiting for the M10 bus.
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