September 12

The most frustrating aspect of this tragedy for me has been how little I have been able to do to help.

I have just returned from Manhattan. The EMS staging area has several dozen ambulances and crews sitting and waiting. Frankly, EMS workers are trained to provide immediate assistance to the sick and injured. There aren't many sick or injured in Manhattan tonight. We sat and waited.

The WTC operation is no longer a rescue operation. It is a recovery operation. That is not to say that someone who is living won't be pulled out of some air pocket, but dozens of ambulances won't be needed to treat that person or persons. Mostly the ambulances will be used for those workers who are digging. It is an unstable environment, and somebody is going to get hurt.

The firehouse behind my office building on 43rd street will be a strange site for a long time. A firehouse without a fire truck. Engine 65 is under a pile of rubble. The crew is safe. The truck is history. The firefighters working this evening's shift are sitting and waiting to be told what to do. It is hard to respond to emergencies without a fire truck.

I'm going to work tomorrow. I'm taking my EMS gear with me, but I doubt I'll need any of it. Still, I'll feel more secure having the gear next to my desk. Maybe Central Park Medical Unit will be dispatched during the day, and maybe they won't be able to raise a crew.

Not being able to do anything to relieve the pain of this tragedy is frustrating all of us. I don't have any solutions. One recommendation though is to turn off the news. There is only so much of this you can take.