Bonding

Bonding January 24, 2002 Every day you meet people in The Big City. You meet them whether you want to or not. With a city of over eight million people you would think you wouldn't meet the same people over and over again. You would be wrong. If you do the same things daily you are going to meet the same people. When you combine this fact with my need to constantly entertain strangers you get interesting results. Almost everyone on my morning bus ride thinks the bus driver, Eddy, is my brother. The fact he is Hispanic doesn't seem to make any difference. We have been joking about it for weeks. The rest of the bus thinks it's funny. On the rare occasion I'm not waiting at the curb for the 7:44 bus Eddy asks "where is my brother Billy?” The big excitement for us waiting for the bus every morning is whether Eddy has a new bus. Most of us seem to like the new bus. The seats are wider, allowing for more butt space. There are some however who prefer the old buses. The seats are softer. I find the second group to have an average weight of 100 pounds. When I board the bus I have one of about four jokes I tell: "Eddy, I missed breakfast, can you pull though the drive thru at McDonalds?” "Eddy, I didn't get much sleep last night. I need a nap. Could you take the long route?” "Eddy, did you call mom? She said she hasn't heard from you lately.” and "Eddy, I forgot my bus pass. Will you take a third party, out of state, postdated check drawn on Canadian funds"? For reasons that escape me Eddy always laughs. As we approach the Port Authority Bus Terminal (PABT), the final stop of the morning, I always ring the button to signal the driver to stop. Again, Eddy always laughs. (Now, the reason this is funny is that, as the final stop, it is assumed he will stop and let us all off of the bus. Get it? No? Don't feel bad. About half of the passengers don't see the humor in it either. Frankly, I crack myself up, so it doesn't really matter if the others think it is funny.) Having Eddy as my driver every morning allows me to feel like I belong here. I have connected to someone. Eddy isn't the only one. I have connected with the security guard, Leo, in the Grace Building where I work. My daily joke with Leo is that instead of showing him my photo ID as I enter the building I show him the first thing I find in my wallet. My MasterCard, bus pass, AAA card, blood donor card, whatever. I have also connected with Ilya, my barber. It is tougher to joke with Ilya as he doesn't speak English. I'm not certain what language he speaks, but it certainly isn't English. The standard joke with him is that when he holds up the mirror that allows me to see the back of my head I scream and say "what happened to my hair!” Ilya always laughs. That might be because I always tip Ilya. My father once gave me the advice that is a good idea to tip anyone who gets near you with sharp objects. My father is a wise man. The list of those around me in the Big City with whom I have bonded seems to be endless. The three guys at the newspaper stand, the cashier at the restaurant where I get my lunch, the girl who checks me into the gym and hands me a towel, (running joke: "I've been a member of this gym since July and haven't lost a single pound!" "Oh. I actually have to COME to the gym?" "That wasn't in the recruitment materials!") Yes, the jokes are stupid. A student once described them as "dad jokes". The type of jokes your father tells that embarrasses you when you are in the same room at the time. Still, they serve a purpose. Once, when eating at a restaurant in Lake Placid, NY I told one of my dad jokes. The waiter asked if I was from Rochester. It turns out he had waited on me at a restaurant in Rochester the year before. These stupid jokes allow me to bond with those around me. I stick out in their minds. I am more than just another of the thousands of faces they see every day. I need that. Besides, it breaks up their day. I see it as a public service. The downside of this behavior is that I have a hard time finding anybody who is willing to travel on vacation with me. A week of hearing these jokes will drive just about anyone insane. Still, I don't stop. I crack myself up.